Cowboy Junkies Disintegrating lyrics

Disintegrating
In glazed eyes and red stains
I'm thinking this has to be
The biggest case of “I told you so”
I know I'm being petty
But when Nellie turned and said,
“Can't say Dallas doesn't love you…”
I almost laughed before you put your hand on my knee
To stop me,
Please stop me
Like I couldn't stop you
From disintegrating
The young woman you waved to
For that moment I hated you
I imagined you dead and that I was finally free
And that's when it happened
‘Did I will it to happen?'
Was all I was thinking as I
Held your head in my hands
This is a tight sleeve,

The fucking engines of this plane are shrill
My lips are bloodless
Please, stop me
Please, stop me
Like I couldn't stop you
From disintegrating
The face of that young aid
Glancing back over LBJ's shoulder
I heard him say, “I've got a sure-fire way to win a second term
Put a hit out on his wife
The sympathy vote would be a landslide”?
You weren't really thinking that, were you?
Did you?
Were they killing you?
Or were they just missing me?
And if you were in my place
Would you be…Disintegrating?