The DC3 So This Guy Walks Into a Bar lyrics

This is your correspondent speaking
Coming to you from the fifth layer of hell
Where the featureless, genderless toilet ends
And the bar begins- no one can tell
This is your correspondent speaking
Where everyone is a limelight hogger
A round-the-Tan jogger
A blogger, a one-way dialoguer

This is your correspondent speaking
From the where surfaces are as hard as the barmaid's eyes
Multiplying the sound with maximum bounce
Like your skull on the ground outside
This is your correspondent speaking


Where it sounds like three quite literally is a crowd
When you're on your own but you're never alone
You need a personal loan to get in a round

This is your correspondent speaking
Where the girls look like they want to be reading the news
Their bouquet is sweet but they're slightly bruised
From their perfect teeth to their pole-dancer shoes
This is your correspondent speaking
From where you set your watch by two certain events
Some girls will lesbian kiss for effect
Some boys want someone to fist and you're next