We Were Skeletons Long Night lyrics

The day I learned you tried to kill yourself again,
my stomach
shriveled up
like a dead fly left out in the sun.
It hurt so much to realize that I have no say,
that I could never save you. But I guess it was always that way
and to think otherwise is selfishness.
Like how when people die and
everyone makes it about themselves
Yeah, Pity me for all your pain.
The pain I could never understand
despite my
“I was the last person
to talk to her” pleas.
I could never shake you out of it,
like so much rattling of your cage
when you just swallowed the key. And no finger of mine can reach back in your throat and take it out.
It's not enough, it never was. No words can make things alright again. No choir of angels, No golden rays. No one to see you through these dark alleyways. Maybe death's like the ocean- and just like the ocean, we just return to the shifting tides.
If I could only

breathe you in,
o try to keep you close
… You won't ever know
you were all I could
think about
when I was fucking
the last girl I slept with.
This can't be fixed through
long talks and late nights.
I need to run away
and cut off the pieces
of you that can't be
diluted through my
piss that's laced with cheap
whiskey and lack of sleep.