Weird Al Yankovic Handy lyrics

First things first I'm a craftsman
Remodeling is my only passion
And i 'm da greatest in da bidness
Want referrals yo my clientele will bear you witness

(Right right) I can help when your door jam sticks
Ain't nothing In The world that I can't fix.
I do tiles I do stones I do bricks
Call on me I'll come rushin with my bag of tricks ( bag of trick )

Where do you go when your disposal is rusted
Termite problem making you disgusted
Or when your front window is busted
Just one name that always trusted.

I'm so handy
You already know
I'll fix your plumbing
When your toilet overflows

I'm so handy
Bring you up to code
When your dishwasher
Bout' to splode'

Well you see that your furnace is needing some service
I'm fully bonded no need to be nervous
Or perhaps you would like a new counter for mika
Maybe I'll install this combo washer dryer

Maybe your pipes are antique
Water pressure to weak
You got a an attic full of dry wall cuz your roof sprung a leak

Your fridge is starting to reak
Your high board floors really squeak
Don't worry I'll just show you my amazing technique

Now let me glue DAT glue DAT
And screw DAT screw DAT
Any random chore you have to do well I can do DAT do DAT
Maybe I will rewire your house for fun
I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one


I'm so handy
Everyone says so
I'll grout your bathroom
Resurface your patio

I'm so handy
I'm the guy to know
When you leaf blower
Doesn't blow

Patch the drywall
Clean out gutters and mow that lawn.
Make that phone call
I'll install anything you want (yah)

Check my big staple gun
My socket trenches are second to none
I won't stop till I'm done
Don't even care if I hammer my thumb (OOWWWW)

still rocking my screwdriver
Got the whole world thinking I'm McGiver
Your heating bills are shocking
I can fix that with some duck tape and some chauking

Your house is a disaster huh?
Need a guy who's a master with a plaster huh?
Let me be you stripper
Taking off Lacker no one does it quicker

I'm so handy
You already know
I'll beat all price quotes
My hourly rates are low

I'm so handy
You should call this pro
I'm in the phone book
In she ablar espanol.