Eminem Can I Bitch lyrics

Uncle Marshall
Will you tell us a bedtime story?
Here we go

Now once upon a time not long ago
There was a little rapper about to blow
But his album came and it was not good
I think it went lead or double copper wood

So the silly little fans they were mislead
By a nerdy Internet computer hip-hop head
Me and you, 'Clef, we're gonna make some cash
Grab the silver paint and let's paint my ass

Hey mister, would ya care to bare witness to
The ass-whippin' I'm about to administer
To this ass-kissin' little vaginal blister
Stanabis, little Marshall Mathers' sister

And in this corner, we have the mister
Not havin' it, it's the mad sinister
Dr. Evil with his bag of tricks for
This little antagonist fagot dick-suckin'

Ex-LL Cool J fan from Windsor
I'm 'bout to murder little Kenny fag Keniff-sta
You bastard I ain't wanna have to diss ya
Cannabis, where the fuck you at? I miss ya

Can I bitch, oh, can I bitch?
Where for art thou, can I bitch?
Please tell me what happened with
That style that you were rappin' with

Can I bitch, oh, can I bitch?
Are you from Los Angeles
New York or just a janitor
From Canada? Oh, can I bitch?

Now at first I ain't really understand the shit
Picture me for a second and imagine it
Chillin' in the Bat-Mansion and relaxin'
When all a sudden some bullshit comes across the scanners

It's can I bitch on some "Stan Lives" shit
It creeped me out at first, man this is sick
For me, being just a sick, this conflict
Gets my dick harder than arithmetic

And I know how you jealous ones envy
I shoulda knew better from the first few letters you sent me
The first two letters you were tellin' me shit
Like you respect me, like any other regular MC

The third letter you ask how come I ain't return
None of the messages at Shady Records you left me
The fourth letter, "Slim, you really startin' to upset me"
The fifth letter told me you were comin' to get me

The sixth letter there's a bomb threat in our building
This crazy motherfucker's really tryin' to kill me
So I went back and read the first few letters that said
Some sh*t about a message you left

Oh shit, that's not an E that's an A
This dude wants to leave me a massage, he's gay
Right away I'm on the phone with Dr. Dre
We got a bogey
(Marshall I'm on the way)

Can I bitch, oh, can I bitch?
Where for art thou, can I bitch?
Please tell me what happened with
That style that you were rappin' with

Can I bitch, oh, can I bitch?
Are you from Los Angeles
New York or just a janitor

From Canada? Oh, can I bitch?

So in two seconds flat Dre's at my crib
The funny thing is we both know where this kid lives
And neither one of us have Canadian citizenship shit
Oh Dre, wait a minute that's it

All we gotta do is use a bit of turbo boost
We can fly over the border, let's go
So we're off to Toronto and we're gainin' speed
(What was that? Oh)

Fuck it, keep goin' no time to waste
Wait, backup hit him one more time in case
Okay, fuck now he's draggin' under the car
Oh well, only thirty more thousand miles

Meanwhile me and Dre are tryin' to conversate
Just tryin' to find a reason for the constant hate
And tryin' to figure out what happened to 'Germaine Propaine'
He couldn't have fell off that hard" Ain't no way

What happened to the way you was rappin' when you was scandalous
That Canibus turned into a television evangelist
Plus he raps with his regular voice
(What was that?)

So we pull up to the bridge where he last was spotted
His corpse was still movin' but his ass was rotted
He kinda smelled a little like Courtney Love
I figure if I stick him with a fork he's done

So I stabbed him twice, kept jabbin', Christ
He won't die, this guy's like a battered wife
He's like Kim, he keeps comin' back for more
But he won't fight back I cracked his jaw

Hold up, 'Bis quit foldin' up
Punch me in the chest, make my shoulders touch
Do somethin' at least one punchline
C'mon till the meter reads 9 9 9
Ty-nine percent of my fans are blonde

'Bis c'mon answer me man respond
Tell me 'bout the sun rain moon and stars
Intergalatical metaphors from Mars

Raw to the floor, raw like Reservoir Dogs
Bite another line from Redman's song
Suddenly the stub from a dead man's arm
From a midget reaches out from under the car

It's JD, this motherfucker won't die neither
Dre starts sprayin' him with cans of ether
We stomped the bitch and then stomped the bitch again
(Compton)
Detroit bitch talk some shit again

Stomp him, stomp him
(Switch feet, switch again)
Dre alright he's dead dog, quit kickin' him
I think Stanabis jumped off the bridge again
(Damn)
He disappeared yo he's gone he did it again

Can I bitch, oh, can I bitch?
Where for art thou, can I bitch?
Please tell me what happened with
That style that you were rappin' with

Can I bitch, oh, can I bitch?
Are you from Los Angeles
New York or just a janitor
From Canada? Oh, can I bitch?