Allan Sherman Taking Lessons lyrics

The modern family has time to burn
We all take lessons, we try to learn
The latest new thing's
We never do things, we just take lessons

My daughter Linda, she takes ballet
Her first recital was yesterday
She dropped her tutu and her left shoe too
She needs more lessons

Then there's my daughter Dottie
She takes guitar, that's true
Junior, he takes karate
Smashed her guitar in two

For all these lessons, I have to pay
I must raise money, I found a way
Read my brochure folks
Learn how to be poor folks
I'm giving lessons

Our brand new puppy, his name is Spot

He's being house-trained, our rug is shot
Our very best room became his restroom
What good are lessons?

Tom studies driving, he took a ride
He saw two buses side by side
He must have seen them, he drove between them
Does anybody wanna buy a long thin Mustang?

My wife takes cooking lessons
So help me, she flunked poached egg
I took one skiing lesson
You're wrong, folks, I broke my arm

I called the doctor in great despair
But it was Wednesday, he's never there
He's on the links, folks
His putting stinks, folks
He's taking lessons