If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I'd buy you a house (I'd buy you a house)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house (maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I'd buy you a K-Car (a nice reliant automobile)
And if I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love
If I had a million dollars I'd build a tree-fort in our yard
If I had a million dollars you could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had a million dollars maybe we could put a little tiny fridge in there somewhere.
“You know, we could just go up there and hang out.â€
“Like open the fridge and stuff, and there'd all be foods laid out for us like little pre-wrapped sausages and things. They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon.â€
“Well can you blame them?â€
“Yeah.â€
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I'd buy you a fur a coat (but not a real fur coat, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I'd buy you an exotic pet (yep, like a llama or an emu)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (all them crazy elephant bones)
And if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love
If I had a million dollars we wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars we'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars we wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner
“But we would eat Kraft dinner.â€
“Of course we would, we'd just eat more.â€
“And buy really expensive ketchups with it.â€
“That's right, all the fanciest Dijon ketchups.â€
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Wel I'd buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I'd buy you some art (A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkey?!)
And if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love
If I had a million dollars; if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars; if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars… I'd be rich!