Indigo Girls F/ Language Or The Kiss (Live) lyrics

I don't know if it was real or in a dream
Lately waking up, I'm not sure where I've been
There was a table set for six and five were there
I stood outside and kept my eyes upon that empty chair

And there was steam on the windows from the kitchen
And laughter like the language I once spoke with ease
But I'm made mute by the virtue of decision
I choose most of your life goes on without me

Oh, the fear I've known
That I might reap the praise of strangers
And end up on my own
All I've sown was a song but maybe I was wrong

I said to you the one gift I'd adore
Is the package of the next ten years unfolding
But you told me if I had my way I'd be bored, I'd be bored
And I knew I loved you best born of your scolding

When we last talked, we were lying on our backs
Looking at the sky through the ceiling

I used to lie like that alone, out on the driveway
'Cause I was trying to read the Greek upon the stars
The alphabet of feeling

Oh, I knew back then, it was a calling
That said, "If joy, then pain"
The sound of the voice these years later
Is still the same

I am alone in a hotel room tonight
I squeeze the sky out but there's not a star appears
Begin my studies with this paper and this pencil
And I'm working through the grammar of my fears

Oh mercy, what I won't give
To have the things that mean the most
Not to mean the things I miss
Unforgiving, choice still is
The language or the kiss, yes, it is