As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: “Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be?â€
“Ah, you're drunk,
You're drunk, you silly old fool,
Still you can not see
That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me.â€
“It's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before.â€
And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be
So I called me wife and I said to her: “Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be?â€
“Ah, you're drunk,
You're drunk, you silly old fool,
Still you can not see
That's a woollen blanket that me mother sent to me.â€
“It's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before.â€
As I went home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be
So I called his wife and I said to her: “Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be?â€
“Ah, you're drunk,
You're drunk, you silly old fool,
Still you can not see
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me.â€
“It's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw before.â€
And as I came home on a Thursday? …Thursday night as drunk as drunk could be
I-I-I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
Well, I called me wife and I says to her: “Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be?â€
“Ah, you're drunk,
You're drunk, you silly old fool,
Still you can not see
They're two lovely geranium pots me mother sent to me.â€
“Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But laces in geranium pots I never saw before.â€
Well, as I went home on Friday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head upon the bed where my bald head should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: “Would you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be?â€
“Ah, you're drunk,
You're drunk, you silly old fool,
Still you can not see
That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me.â€
“Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before.â€
“Ah, you're drunk,
You're drunk, you silly old fool,
Still you can not see
That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me.â€
“Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before.â€
“But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before.â€