John Prine Dear Abby lyrics

Dear Abby, Dear Abby; My feet are too long,
My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong.
My friends they all tell me I've no friends at all,
Won't you write me a letter, won't you give me a call.
Signed, Bewildered.

Chorus: Bewildered,bewildered you have no complaint,
You are what you are and you aint what you aint.
So listen up buster and listen up good,
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood.
Signed, Dear Abby.

Dear Abby,Dear Abby, my fountain pen leaks.
My wife hollars at me and my kids are all freaks.
Every side I get up is the wrong side of bed,
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead.
Signed, Unhappy.

cho: Unhappy,Unhappy, you have no complaint ...

Dear Abby, Dear Abby, you won't believe this,
But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss.
My girlfriend tells me its all in my head,
But my stomach tells me to write you instead.
Signed, Noise-maker. (cho: Noise-maker,Noise-maker, ...)

Dear Abby, Dear Abby, I never'd have thought,
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught.
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze,
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees.
Signed, Just Married. (cho: Just Married, Just Married, ...)