Black Sheep Wall Metallica lyrics

Slower than life itself, Jon opened his eyes,
And Karen beamed back with the same fake optimism
She'd had since bible study when she was nine

"Rise and shine, love"

Jon grinned back searching for a trap for his eyes
But the mole on her neck was the best he could find
She rose from bed
With a yawn that couldn't have fooled a bigot
And approached the bathroom

John caught a glimpse of her wings tattoo and privately scorned,
As if to compensate for having just slept in her bed
His mind wandered to nowhere and back
He was still laying in a shrine of reminders he wished were covered

As if there weren't enough,
The alarm clock went off to Karen't favorite Taylor Swift song
And Jon took a moment to embrace life's harvest before turning it off
The shower ran and Jon picked up the remote;
He applied it with force
It was the most control he had with anything,
Even the car's brakes were going out

There was nothing on so some infomercial did the trick;
A hole that his attention fell in and never found its way out

It seemed like seconds before Karen's necklace graced his nose
And she kissed him goodbye

Jon's lips mustered in a circle, but applied no pressure or suction;
A ritual that kept him from any awareness
She reminded him about the laundry,
And left in a hurry even though she was early
Jon walked to the kitchen and found a pen and paper
He began to write:

"Those who know me will say it makes no sense,
Let me offer you this - I agree
Consider this the script of my head,
A declaration of the things I haven't said

"I'm 38 years deep in skin I wish was dust
And before you jump to any conclusions, I'll admit it,
I'm tired of all of you but it's myself I just can't stand
This isn't depression or a crisis, I'm just so fucking bored
If someone could have talked me out of this, I'm glad they didn't

"Mom, guess I'll address you first
You should have known from the cesarean birth,
I haven't ever desired to exist

Thanks for the food I guess

We both know Todd was your favorite and I don't blame you
I don't give a shit what Freud would say
Boring is about the extent we have in common
Shouldn't have cheated..."


Karen burst through the door
"Forgot my report!"
Jon waited for her to be on her way again
And looked her in the eye for the first time in weeks
Confidently, but without emotion or dramatization he opened his mouth
"Bye", and she left
He started where he left off...

"...on Dad, we knew you'd end up alone
Judging by your boredom at Grandma's funeral,
I imagine you'll be the same at mine

"Dad, there aren't enough sighs left in me to show you anything
If guilt exists in these lungs, it's for you and I'm sorry
We could have been closer if it weren't for me
Too many barriers got in the way,
Like that time I got the belt on Christmas day
I've been your burden and I appreciate the roof, thank you
But your greatest lesson was in misogyny
Between mom and Cheryl you know just how to pick them
I knew I'd hate my wife someday
You know exactly what I mean

"Todd, best of luck with the UFC thing

"Karen, don't know how the will thing works but you can have it all
I looked into life insurance but it doesn't count for suicide
There's a penny in the account for every vibrant verb you wish I was
I've never had goals to succeed in disappointment
But I can feel yours in me, let's make it easy on you
I know you've always hated the ring, and I hate mine too,
But not because of the way it looks
Life is just easier when I take it off
Since the day I promised "I do" I've been watching us fade to black -
Maybe that's what Hetfield meant

"We're some kind of monster that couldn't bear an infant
As much pain as you are, at least we never had kids...
It's easier to beat them in my head
Regardless, I'm happy this is on my own accord
Remember the time you caught me jerking off to Groupon?
That wasn't the first time or the last
I'd rather watch senior porn than deal with the biannual anniversary sex
Those files in my computer are bound to shock you so be cautious

"If you ask me, it's a miracle I've made it this far
My greatest achievement is waking up 14000 days in a row

"While pictures may inspire deceit,
I'm already as dead as I'll be in five minutes
Say what you want, but take my guidelines into consideration:
If they call me brave remember that I was weak
And if they call me careless, be honored I took the time to write the note
Just don't ever call me special

"I'm going to kill myself."