All the dust is settled and the ambulance is gone
And people lean out windowsills and hum their tuneless songs.
And yet that yellow smoke go curling up towards the sky
Where he climbed up to dive.
I hear her calling out to me, she's laying in the back.
I'm laying in this vacant space beside these tired old tracks.
And baby I'm not lazy, it's just I turned out bad.
I'm wasting all I had.
And nothing's changing that.
But this time I'm gonna tell myself that this time I'm gonna change.
Then I'll turn around this time and do every goddamned thing the same
And as the sun goes setting on this one of my last days
I'll just piss it away
And laugh about my fate
And dance on my own grave
Encourage slow decay
and stew in what I've made
and wonder at the taste.
And pretend to walk away from days that leave me dazed and grey.
And check my heart and realize the one thing that don't sway.
I love you more than anything. I'm sorry I'm this way.
But baby, I can't change.
And I never thought I'd fade.
