JacksFilms Razors In Your Apple (on Halloween) lyrics

JACK
There's razors in your apple,
on Halloween, Halloween, Halloween,
There's anthrax in your Snapple,
on Halloween, Halloween, Halloween,
The only thing you, got to know is,
all of your candy's got to go,
'cause there's razors in your apple,
on Halloween, Halloween,
on Halloween.

ETHAN
Yes, your candy's been contaminated,
from villians who are evil, mad and jaded,
Don't break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar,
'cause it's filled with pieces of a friggin' crowbar,
They left no candy untouched,
even made the Pop Rocks pop too much,
No, I don't mean to cause a scene, but it's only,

JACK
On Halloween.

SEAN
Ignore those M&Ms,
'cause they're filled with more,
hatred than Eminem,
They dumped bleach on all the Snickers,
steel wires in every Twizzler,
Do you like your Now-N-Laters,
filled with KNIVES from all the haters?
Don't let me see that Tootsie Roll,
because it's laced with crack.

JACK
There's razors in your apple,
on Halloween, Halloween, Halloween,
There's anthrax in your Snapple,
on Halloween, Halloween, Halloween,
The only thing you, got to know is,
all of your candy's got to go,
'cause there's razors in your apple,
on Halloween, Halloween,
on Halloween.

TOBY
Hold up, Jack,
sounds kinda whack,
Whatcha trying to do,

give kids' parent a heart attack?
I think you've gone too far,
Warning kids about their candy?
Who you think you are?

JACK
Don't make assumptions, Toby,
You might learn something, Toby,
if you knew about conspiracies,
you'd know the government,
is trying to rule our minds,
with candy-consumption, Toby.

TOBY
Sounds like you're paranoid,
Your argument is null and void.

JACK
No, I'm telling you, they're watching us,
don't eat the candy Tobuscus,
or else they'll..

TOBY
OKAY, now I'm annoyed,
There's no anthrax in your Snapple,
No razors in your apple.

JACK
Oh, you wanna bet?

TOBY
Yea, sure, I'll take it.
*crunch*
Goddangit!

JACK
There's razors in your apple,
on Halloween, Halloween, Halloween,
There's anthrax in your Snapple,
on Halloween, Halloween, Halloween,
The only thing you, got to know is,
all of your candy's got to go,
'cause there's razors in your apple,
on Halloween, Halloween,
on Halloween.