Archagathus Das Monkey lyrics

Das Monkey is strong and intelligent too
He can do anything a person could do
Like go into space or get a tattoo
Or eat cotton candy or wear tiny shoes
Das Monkey can communicate with gestures and signs
(which unfortunately doesn't work with those who are blind)
But let's face it you know that it's true
Das Monkey should be treated like me or you
He's basically your child but with a furry face
Yet society insists on putting him in a cage

And zapping his body and spraying him with mace
Or whatever they do in a vivisection lab
No matter what it is, I'm sure it's pretty bad
So fuck filling your garden with little plastic gnomes
Let's all invite these monkeys into our homes
We can end this oppression of our primate friends
So mincecore and science can finally make amends!