Things were bad, I won't lie, you were you were all gonna die,
But you're alive because… I kick ass!
So you're welcome, I guess, either way I'm the best
I'm the Link, who's the Link to the past…
There's a bunch of Links
Each of us distinct
But I'm the best
I am number one
Look how fast I run
And I'm really fun
Guess I'm just blessed
Yes, I saved Light and Dark Worlds
Zelda too, and like six other girls
My quest was epic and long
As is my schlong
I bring bad guys to their knees
No, no, no, no…no autographs, please
I'm a gift, to you from the gods
I'm the shit! And quite fit! Just admit: You want my babies!
You're like “wow! Sacre Bleu, we were deep in poo poo,
but Link showed up and voila, we were freeâ€
You were lost, stuck in bed, you were basicAlly dead,
But you're all alive because of me!
So you're welcome, no prob, yeah I did a great job
But I just did what you woulda done
That's a joke, obviously! No, it had to be me
I'm the Link who's the Link to the past…
And my wiener is vast
You're all saved at last
… I KICK ASS.