Rugburns Dick's Automotive lyrics

One, two, one, two, three, quattro

John was living in Ocean Beach, California, with his girlfriend, Julie
When he decided one day, "Hey, Jule, let's move up North
To Northern California where the air is clear and the skies are blue
And they have more traditional family values, what do say, Jule?"

So they loaded up their car and, they moved up North
To the Santa Cruz mountains near the Byzantine Winery
Into a one bedroom trailer behind the bowling alley
Two blocks from the supermarket, one more block to the South

Of Dick's Automotive
Dick's Automotive
Dick's Automotive
Dick's Automotive

John applied for a job at Dick's Automotive
And Dick came to the door and he said, "Tell me, Johnny boy
Can you rotate the tires on a '72 Subaru?"
He said, "No", "Well then, can you change the oil in a '76 Pinto?"
He said, "No", "Well, can you rebuild a holly four-barreled carburetor
On a '69 Camaro with a big 'ol hearse shift rod?"

And he said, "Um, no, "Do you have a girlfriend with long, red, curly hair Creamy, milk-white thighs, big full lips, biceps like Henry Rollings?
And can she just scream like a hyena in the summer?"
And he said, "Yes" and Dick said, "Boy then you're hired"

At Dick's Automotive
At Dick's Automotive
At Dick's Automotive
At Dick's Automotive

John studied real, real hard
He learned how to rotate the tires on a '72 Subaru
He learned how to change the oil in all the Pinto's
And he learned how to rebuild that
Holly four-barreled carburetor on a '69 Camaro

And much, much more than that, he learned how to make love
With his girlfriend, Julie, like a real man oughta
And Dick gave him his service stripes and he said
"There's a little old lady and her car's broken down up
Near the Byzantine Winery, you gotta help her man, go Sheba, go"

So he sent him on his way and about that time
Dick glued back in his dentures, glued back on his toupee
Stood in front of the mirror and said, "I feel sexy
I wonder what Julie's doin' all alone in that trailer"

"I bet she's having trouble opening up a can of peaches right now
I'll bring along my blowtorch just to see if she needs help"
So he hiked a block down the road to the one bedroom trailer
Behind the bowling alley and he knocked on the door
And Julie answered the door and she said, "Oh, hello Dick
I was just having trouble opening up a can of peaches, come on in"

So he started up the blowtorch
And all the peach juice ran down his veins
And he poured it in the Tupperware
That Julie used to sell in Ocean Beach and he said

"We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic"

"We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic
We're goin' on a picnic"

So he loaded Julie into his '57 Chevy
And he drove her up right near the winery
Into the middle of the forest he took her
And he tied her up to a tree and cut half of her top down

And he said, "Stick out your tongue"
Then he put on forty-two and a half tabs of brown acid
That he still had from his Woodstock days
Sprinkled a little paote on her tongue just for good measure

She saw all kinds of colors, lemon yellow, orange orange
Cherry red, kaleidoscope eyes, the world was on fire
And about that time there was a mommy deer
Walking through the forest with a baby deer

And Dick cut down Julie's arm and he poured in some granola

And he mixed it up with stricnine poison and he said
"Oh, come here, little deer, I have some food for you, look at Julie"

And the mommy deer said, "Oh, I better eat it first
Because it could be poisonous
And my heart is much stronger than yours, child"

But really, the mommy deer was just a glutton and wanted all the food And the mommy deer stuck her little mommy snout into Julie's palm
And it licked it and it said, "Oh, go ahead, eat some"

But the mommy's heart was much stronger
And when the baby deer stuck her tongue into the palm of Julie's hand And licked, it died flat shooby doo wop down
And the mommy deer died shortly thereafter

Zippity doo wah out on the ground and Dick cut Julie down from the tree And he looked at the dead deer at his feet
And he grabbed her around the neck
And pushed his tongue right down her mouth
And he said, "Wow, nature's so bitchin'"

At Dick's Automotive
At Dick's Automotive
At Dick's Automotive
At Dick's Automotive
Play it, you silly freak

'Bout that time John was driving back down the road
Feeling really good about helping that little old lady out
And he saw Dick's '57 Chevy parked on the side of the road, he said
"Wow, he could be in trouble, I'd better bring along a chainsaw
A blowtorch and an icepick just to see if he needs help"

Then he said, "Whoa, that looks like the Afghan sweater
That Julie's grandma knitted us last summer in Ocean Beach
What's Julie doing here?" And he hiked through the forest
And he saw the love of his life on a dirty brown piece of Berber carpet

Dick's dentures on the ground chattering
His toupee being carried off by the squirrels and cockroaches
And he saw red and he started up a blowtorch
Then he welded their bodies together

Took an icepick out of a secret manila envelope
Stabbed them fifty-seven times
Started up a chainsaw, cut off Dick's ankle
Put his foot right in his mouth and says, "Looks like
You put your foot in your mouth one last time, Dickie boy"

Then he looked at the dead deer at their feet and he picked them up
And he gave the mommy deer mouth to mouth resuscitation
But to no avail, the mommy deer was dead
And he gave the baby deer mouth to mouth resuscitation
And the baby deer came back to life

Charles Bronsan had tears in his eyes
I guess 'cause nature had been vindicated
David Coresh was selling barbecued ribs on the side
The mommy deer still was dead and he said

"Mommy deer dead
Baby deer alive
Mommy deer dead
Baby deer alive"

"Mommy deer dead
Baby deer alive
Mommy deer dead
Baby deer alive"

At Dick's Automotive
At Dick's Automotive
Dick's Automotive
Dick's Automotive

Dick's Automotive
Dick's Automotive
Dick's Automotive
Dick's Automotive

At Dick's Automotive
Dick's Automotive
Dick's Automotive
Dick's Automotive
Dick's Automotive
Dick's Automotive